There is no consistency or plan, not a single ounce of a map. I live life as a mandate with no clear purpose. Do you wonder what it is you’re doing here in this world anyway? I do – but even if I think I found the answer, I don’t have the basic self-control to do anything with it.
Hi, I’m a newbie – someone who is new to pretty much all that is realization. This is my first rant on the purpose of life. Unlike me, you might have everything figured out. Unlike me, you might be passionate about something. And unlike me, you might not hate yourself. If not, then welcome. I have not figured out what I want from this life. I thought I wanted riches, or fame, or something people admire. But for some reason I don’t have the ability or the desire to go after them. You know how some people will scam others in order to get richer? I don’t have that level of evilness or eagerness in me. I don’t have dreams, aspirations, or goals to reach. I did once try to make goals, but I backed away. I fell back into my old habits and thought, “Eh… I can start tomorrow.” And here I am — four years later… nothing.
I’m not a science major or a native English speaker, so I don’t know what this would be called, but I do feel more lost than ever. I feel more confused than ever, tired and listless toward life itself. I want to give up. I want to take a long vacation and not worry about anything. But hey.., this is Earth; those types of wishes are just that: wishes. To the people who got out of this slum, how did you do it? How did you control yourself? How did you discipline yourself? And… how do you love yourself?